I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
