guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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