Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My breasts were aching with rage.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
