That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
