This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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