tell your sister to shave her snatch
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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