We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
