I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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