I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
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Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you had me at cake vodka
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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