All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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