The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
