I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
