Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
