I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Girls should come with a carfax report
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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