About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
