i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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