Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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