Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
