So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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