It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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