Ketchup is God's man juice
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
