He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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