He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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