Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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