jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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