we have officially lost it.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
