i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We need to get me chipped asap
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
