ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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