I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
