sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
