A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
