Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
