just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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