Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
