So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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