Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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