They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
