We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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