just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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