there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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