hell yes lets make some ravioli
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
