If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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