nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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