We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize