I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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