We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Where is the hickey?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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