i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
