so that wasnt chicken after all
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
