Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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