is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
