Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
someone owes me an orgasm
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
