i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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