no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
