Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
