They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize