yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
