My room smells like vodka and shame
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
