Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sobbing to NWA
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
