She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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