Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I wish there were birth control emojis
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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