I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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