You're so nebulous sometimes
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
