well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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