She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
